


Pale Reflection

by Elsie876



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Incest, Misandry, Mommy Issues, Pheromones, Rape/Non-con Elements, rapist pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 19:39:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19752481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elsie876/pseuds/Elsie876
Summary: When Arlene and Deb travel to a different dimension, Arlene sees a chance to get something she wants. Everyone suffers the consequences.





	1. Arrival

Arlene had watched as Deb tried to use their version of the Hilly Hop Drive to find the father of her children. Jim and Bexley were having trouble with their monthly cycles and Hilly had recommended collecting a sample of DNA to see what the problem was. 

Instead, they had ended up in an entirely different dimension. This universe was a matriarchal universe just like theirs where women sired children and men had uteruses and bore them, only in this one, Rimmer and Lister were men. That was just fine with Arlene for the last male Rimmer they had encountered had scarpered away like a little coward when she’d merely tried to be friendly. Perhaps this Arnold Rimmer would be more receptive to her overtures.

She and Deb decided to take Blue Midget over to their ship.

“What d’you think they’ll be like?” asked Deb.

“Like real men?” said Arlene.

“Come off it, Arlene. He just wasn’t interested in you!”

“Who’s to say this Rimmer won’t be?”

“Dream on! This one could be gay for all you know.”

“He can’t be.”

“Why not?”

“He’s the male version of me, of course.”

Deb rolled her eyes and docked the ship in the landing bay where the other versions of them waited. It was just the two men waiting, no Dog or Cat in sight. To be honest, Arlene didn’t really care. They disembarked Blue Midget and this Arnold was the first to speak.

“So, you’re not aliens?”

Arlene smiled. Here was a man after her own heart. 

They soon split off into two groups: Arlene and Arnold into one and Deb and Dave in the other. Deb and Dave went off to the medibay discussing the twin’s periods and the two Rimmers were left alone. Arlene decided to test him ( _How to Pick Up Boys With Hypnosis_ advised it). 

“You don’t want to go off with them, do you? After all, you have a uterus, too.”

Arnold recoiled. “Smeg, no! That’s one of the few benefits of being a hologram and I haven’t had to think about it ever since I was dead. I’d rather keep it that way.”

She placed a hand on his shoulder and he did not recoil from that. This was going better than Arlene had hoped for. Now it was time for an intelligent question.

“So, Arnold, what are your hobbies on the ship?”

Arnold was happy to discuss Morris dancing and his collection of twentieth-century telegraph poles and soon they were in his quarters conversing about the various poles. They were just debating which county in England had the best poles when a yowling noise filled the corridor outside. 

Arnold sighed. “Just when we were having a decent conversation, too. That goit has the worst timing.”

Now Arlene was curious. It sounded like a Cat, but one never knew.

“Dog or Cat?”

“Cat,” replied Arnold tightly. “He’s in heat right now. That’s why he didn’t come down before.”

The yowling grew louder and musky scent began to seep in through the door. Arlene went to open it to tell that moggy to not interrupt them. Arnold lept off the bed once he realized what she was doing. 

“Don’t open that door!”

Arlene ignored him and they both got the full blast of Cat’s pheromones. Even in softlight they were affected for Hilly had programmed it so. Arnold had complained so much about not being able to feel any sexual sensations that she had gone the whole hog and allowed holograms on her ship to feel the effects of Cat’s pheromones. Now her revenge was playing out for real.

“Hilly, stop it!” shouted Arnold. “Stop it now!”

The screen on the wall stayed black. The first thing Arlene had done when she’d entered the room was to set the screen to private mode. The last thing she had wanted was Hilly popping in on her and Arnold. She had no regrets. By now, Arlene was completely horny and she wanted him. He was now as red as a beet and he turned away from her, facing the wall. She placed a hand on his shoulder again.

“Come on, Arnie. What’s the matter?”

“I don’t want to!”

“Am I really that hideous to you? Come on, don’t be shy.”

He kept facing the wall. Arlene let her hand travel down to his groin and she cupped it. Hard as a rock. She knew it.

“See? Your body wants it.”

He started to weep. “You’re my sister!”

“So what?” 

Her other hand traveled inside his shirt and he just stood there and let her do it.

“We’re holograms. There’s zero chance of pregnancy. You said so yourself. No risk of diseases, either.”

He continued to weep. Were the male Rimmers always this wet?

“I know that, I just don’t want-“

“Want what? Afraid? No need to be. I’ve seen all the vids. I’ll take care of you.”

Her hand traveled down to his nipple and she pinched it. He let out a strangled cry.

“Why fight it?”

He attempted to wriggle out of her grip, but she had him up against a wall. He tried to fade into the wall, but she held firm. He wasn’t going to get away that easily. 

“I’ll follow you wherever you go,” she whispered in his ear. “There’s nowhere you can go where I can’t find you. Besides, there’s nowhere to run.”

Any wall he could go through from here would just have him end up in a room covered in the Cat’s pheromones. If Arlene knew it, Arnold certainly would. The tears slowed. 

“Please, just stop.”

“Don’t play modest with me, Arnold. I’m you. I know exactly what you want and I’m not letting you go until you give it to me. “

His body sagged.

“All right. I’ll do it. Now will you let me go?”

She watched him in case he was stupid enough to bolt, but instead he took his shirt off and the crying slowed to a single tear here and there as he continued to strip off the rest of his clothes. She took in an eyeful of that chest before stripping off her own clothes. He obviously worked out and it showed. She couldn’t wait. 

When she was ready, he was lying on his bunk, his dick at attention. She leered.

“Eager, are we?”

He nodded with a tight smile. He did nothing as she climbed on top of him, his face devoid of expression. He only winced when she grabbed his shoulders and enfolded her dick with her cunt. She wondered what the problem was, then she realized what it must be.

“You can let it all out,” she said. “I don’t mind. “

To Hell with Margaret Rimmer and her insistence that a Rimmer should never show any improper emotion. What had she ever done other than fail out of the Space Corps? Arlene’s screams matched Arnold’s cries and she didn’t care who heard them.


	2. Discovery

Dave raised an eyebrow at Deb as the sounds of Arlene’s screams travelled down the corridor to the medibay.

“Sounds like they’re busy.”

Deb shook her head with a smile.

“Well, what do you know? She actually did it.”

Then she laughed while Dave looked on.

“What’s so funny?”

“Do you know how much smeg she’s given me for sleeping with your alternate self? It’s payback time.”

Now Dave looked curious.

“What happened?”

“We both got smegging drunk and one thing led to another. That’s how we ended up with the twins.”

“Why didn’t he use any protection?”

“In his universe, it’s women who get pregnant.”

“Oh, smeg!”

Deb snorted. “You’re not kidding. Apparently he bore them without a proper womb, too.”

“A wombless pregnancy? Smegging hell!”

Dave had only ever heard of such things whispered at the orphanage as a tale meant to scare or as a plot in a horror movie. Before modern medicine, a pregnancy outside a uterus always resulted in death for the unfortunate male. These days, even a simple medicomp could perform a C-section, but he still would not wish it on any man.

“Was he okay?”

“He seemed fine when he dropped the twins off. It’s the twins who need help now.”

“With their periods, right? What’s the problem?”

Deb rolled her eyes. “What isn’t? They’re irregular. They’re smegging painful when they do show up and they’re tearing through our pain pill supplies. Right now, they’re stuck in the medibay back on our ship.”

“We’ll go over as soon as Cat’s heat dies down. The worst of it should ease off in a few more hours.”

The instant Dave had caught scent of Cat’s pheromones, he’d shut the door and sealed the medibay and then explained how bad it could get.

“Unless you want to end up humping a table or a pipette, I suggest we stay here.”

Deb had asked what would happen if the pheromones got in anyway.

He’d shrugged. “There’s always taking care of it ourselves.”

“Fine. I really don’t want to get another man pregnant.”

“And I really don’t want to get pregnant. So we’re even.”

Now they were stuck here for the next few hours. Dave and Deb lapsed into silence, staring out the medibay window. Deb was the first to break the silence.

“Any other reason you wouldn’t sleep with a woman? You don’t seem too keen on it.”

He supposed she of all people would pick up on that. He looked right at her.

“I’m gay.”

“What? Totally and completely?”

“Yep. One-hundred and twenty percent.”

“Ever had sex with a woman?”

Nice to see his female self had the usual Lister tact.

“Once. It’s not an experience I’d care to repeat.”

Deb had given a quick apology and then they’d lapsed into an uncomfortable silence again. After a few minutes of this, Dave had changed the subject.

“You ever meet a man called Christopher Kochanski on your Red Dwarf?”

Deb’s eyes lit up and the rest of their time in the medibay was spent reminiscing over him. The only difference between her Kochanski and his was their sexual orientation: hers was straight, his gay. Other than that, they had been the same down to the gorgeous brown hair and eyes, Scottish accent, and his pinball smile. All too soon, Hilly told them it was safe to leave the medibay. 

“The Cat’s gone down to the Cargo Decks and he’ll likely stay there for the next twenty-four hours.”

Dave sighed. “Let’s go get the lovebirds. With my luck, they did it on my bunk.”

“We did it on Arlene’s. Not deliberately though.”

“Let’s get the reveal over with.”

***

Deb followed Dave the corridor, confused by his reaction. He seemed exasperated, not amused like she would expect. She certainly was. Time to go tease the two Rimmers for all it was worth. She followed Dave to his bunk.

There was the guilty couple. To be fair, it was Arnold’s bunk they were sprawled on, but that was the only point in their favour. Arlene was in front looking like the cat that had swallowed the cream while Arnold was behind her, flushing when he saw them, his eyes darting around even when Dave shook his head at them.

“Un-smegging-believable.”

Deb smiled and put her hands on her hips.

“So is this the part where I say ‘I hope you get pregnant’ or ‘how could you contemplate making love to yourself’?”

Arlene sniffed. “Arnold and I have a special bond that transcends everything else. Isn’t that right, Arnie?”

He blushed even redder and sputtered, “Oh, yes, well…”

Dave held up one of his hands. “No need to explain it to me.”

Arlene ignored him and looked at Deb. 

“At least I didn’t get him pregnant.”

“Thank smeg for that,” muttered Arnold. 

Everyone looked at him except for Deb who looked at Dave. Dave’s eyes had narrowed and his body had gone rigid. Deb decided to step in before it got nasty.

“Time for you to get dressed. Shuttle’s leaving at half past nine.”

Then she practically dragged Dave out of the bunkroom before he could say something stupid. As soon as they were out of earshot, Deb spoke up.

“What’s got your knickers in such a twist? I thought you’d be amused. I am.”

Dave just gave her a look.

“Do you really believe all that smeg Arlene was spouting?”

“No, but you know how Rimmers love to exaggerate everything.”

He sighed. “That’s not what I’m talking about. Didn’t you see the way he acted?”

“Like someone with buyer’s remorse? Who wouldn’t after sleeping with Arlene?”

Lister scowled. “You really don’t get it. Let’s just say it’s not a good idea to leave him alone with her.”

A horrible thought popped into Deb’s head. Surely he wasn’t implying that? Arlene could be handsy, but surely she wouldn’t stoop so low. 

She backed away from Dave. 

“I’ll just go get Arlene then so we can start the shuttle.”

She went back to the bunkroom and it was silent when she knocked on the door.

“Arlene, you decent?”

“In a minute,” replied Arlene

“Arlene, our ship will be leaving this universe in four hours. Get moving or I’ll leave you here to malfunction.”

Arnold was the one who opened the door.

“Sorry about all that. It took that gimboid computer ages to fix our hair. We’re both ready now.”

A Rimmer apologizing of their own free will? That was new. 

“It’s okay, Arnold. Arlene, come with me.”

Arlene grumbled, but she followed Deb to the shuttle. Dave stayed behind to talk to Rimmer. 

***

“Lister, I want to stay here.”

“Why? So you can listen to Cat howl in the Cargo Decks?”

Rimmer said nothing, but his right leg jiggled as it always did when he was nervous. Lister could see him working out a story to tell him.

“I won’t be of any use to you. It’s not as if I have periods anymore.”

That definitely wasn’t like him.

“Come on, Rimmer. You had smegging awful periods when you were alive. I should know, I had to put up with your moaning once a month.”

“It wasn’t every month!”

“It was enough. The point is, you’re the best person to help Jim and Bexley out. We need you, man.”

“You’re not being serious.”

Same old Rimmer.

“I’m not lying. We need your help. I’ll be there to fill in, but you’re better at all this period smeg. “

“You’ll be there, too?”

“Scout’s honour. You coming?”

Rimmer scowled. “Alright.”

That was the best he was going to get out of him. Lister let Rimmer leave first, but always kept him in his sight. No smegging way he would allow Arlene to be alone with him again. 

***

The ride back to the women’s Red Dwarf was a quiet one with Deb asking Hilly after Jim and Bexley and Hilly confirming that they were both still in the medibay. Arlene tried to talk to Arnold, but he did not reply to her, choosing instead to look out the window. Now they only had three-and-a-half hours so Deb landed in the closest docking bay and they rushed to the medibay where Jim, Bexley, Dog and Krytenne were waiting for them. Jim and Bexley lay on the beds moaning while Dog and Krytenne stood by them.

“Howdy, everyone,” said Dog. 

“Glad to have you here, Sirs,” said Krytenne in her new accent (Canadian, maybe?), “As you can see, the twins are in a great deal of pain.”

“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” snarked Arnold. “What have you given them for the pain?”

“My databases no longer cover pain medication targeted for menstruation. We’ve been giving them regular pain medication.”

“You need something stronger, Bogbot. Here, I’ll tell you.”

Deb watched in amazement as Arnold listed a bunch of different medications and treatments. Dave noticed her amazement and smiled.

“If anyone would know, it would be him. Smeg only knows how much he moaned about them when he was alive.”

Deb smiled back. “Who’d’ve thought a Rimmer of all people could be so useful.”

“I heard that,” said Arlene. “It seems that this Rimmer has many talents.”

Arnold turned white and stopped talking. Dave stepped in to cover for him. 

“I’d also recommend birth control. I don’t remember the name, but if I see the package, I’ll know it by sight. Rimmer, you know the name?”

Arnold shook his head. “Never took it. Couldn’t.”

“Why not?” asked Jim.

“You can’t take if you’ve ever ruptured or miscarried due to bleeding out. Everyone knows that.”

Everyone was silent at that. Of all the people to say that, Deb expected it the least out of Rimmer. However, when she thought about it, it made a twisted kind of sense. This universe’s Dave Lister was not only male, but also gay. This Arnold Rimmer had had sex more than once, and not good sex by the sounds of it. Why else would he have ended up alone on Red Dwarf? Deb looked over at Dave who seemed as shocked as she was. However, one person was not.

Arlene looked triumphant.

“I knew it! You’re nowhere near as virginal as you pretended to be.”

Now Dave looked like he was ready to twat her. Deb put her hand on his shoulder.

“Why don’t you and Arnold go look for those pills while Arlene and I have a nice chat? Dog here will take you to the medical supply room while Krytenne stays with the boys.”

Dave and Arnold could hardly refuse so they followed Dog out of the room. Once they were gone, Deb glared at Arlene and told her to come to the Drive Room with her. Arlene muttered, but she followed her. 

Once they were in the Drive Room, Deb rounded on her.

“What the smeg was that all about?”

“He pretended he didn’t want it at first, but I knew he did.”

Deb looked at her in disgust. Arlene seemed perfectly serious.

“Hilly, you there?”

Hilly face appeared on the screen. “Yeah, Deb. What do you want?”

“Can you get access to the recordings from Arnold and Dave’s bunkroom?”

“Let me check. Yeah, she wasn’t watching, but it was recorded. She’ll let me play it if you ask.”

“That’s private!” Arlene protested.

“Play it,” said Deb flatly. 

She already knew she wasn’t going to like what she saw.


	3. Reckoning

In the meantime, Dog had led Dave and Arnold to the medical supply storeroom, chatting the whole way to make up for their silence. 

“I sure do love helping people. I’ll just stay right out here while you two search. Call me if you need me to sniff something or when you’re ready to go back.”

“Thanks, Dog,” said Dave quietly. 

Once they were alone, Rimmer pulled up a fake smile.

“Right, let’s get started. You take the right, and I’ll take the left. You said they had a colored label, right?”

“Rimmer, what the smeg was that all about? As for the label, it was blue or green.”

“Blue or green?”

“What exactly happened last night?”

“Blue or green, Listy?”

“Green, smeghead.”

Dave gave up for now and helped to search for the pills. He’d get the truth out of Rimmer sooner or later, but right now, they had a limited amount of time to find the right pills.

The only problem with finding that JMC pillbox was that it was that particular shade of turquoise that looks green to some eyes and blue to others. They spent over an hour searching for it before meeting up again. Between them, they had found the pain medications and heating pads, but not the male birth control.

“Anything?”

“Nothing,” replied Rimmer.

“We’ve searched the whole smegging storeroom. Don’t tell me this ship didn’t carry any.”

Rimmer snorted. “If the men and women are anything like our dimension, they’d have it by the truckload. Smeg forbid we don’t all shag like rabbits all the time!”

“Rimmer…”

“That’s what women do here. They take and men give it to them.”

Semgging hell, did he really think it was his fault? Dave moved closer to him and looked him right in the eye. 

“Rimmer, I’d be willing to bet my Les Paul that she wouldn’t leave you alone until you gave it to her. That’s not consent.”

Rimmer went white and dropped the items he was carrying on the ground.

“What would you know about it? You don’t even sleep with women!”

“I know enough,” replied Dave calmly. “If anyone should feel ashamed, it’s her, not you.”

“Fat smegging chance of that,” replied Rimmer. “If her mother was anything like mine, she taught her that any man who gave it up deserved everything they got.”

“Rimmer, you told me yourself that your mother was a crazed military failure who was bound and determined that her sons would either become officers in the Space Corps and/or marry into Space Corps. Her opinion ain’t worth the smeg off your shoe.”

“I bet they’re both laughing about it right now!”

“Deb wasn’t laughing the last time I saw her. Bet she’s figured it out now, too. Anyways, did you see any blue or green labels.”

Rimmer relaxed. “I didn’t see any green labels, but there were some blue ones near the entrance.”

“Smeg! Why didn’t you say?”

“You said green,” he replied primly.

“Smeggin hell, Rimmer!”

Lister went back to where Rimmer pointed and sure enough there they were. He grabbed a few boxes and called Dog in to pick up the stuff Rimmer had dropped. 

“It’ll be faster if you do it.”

“Thanks. I sure do love to help.”

Dave was being tactful for Rimmer still looked wan. Dog happily led them back to the medibay where Krytenne and Deb were waiting for them. Arlene was nowhere to be seen. Deb asked if she could speak to Arnold alone. He looked to Dave and Dave nodded. He agreed. 

That left Dave alone with Krytenne and the boys. Jim and Bexley were sitting up by now and looked a great deal better after even the single doses of period pain medication on offer in the medibay. Krytenne thanked him profusely while the boys smiled at him. 

“Cheers, man,” said Jim.

“It’s the least we could do,” he replied. “I hope it helps.”

“What’re your periods like?” Bexley asked.

“I barely notice them,” he replied with a shrug. “Hopefully it’ll be the same for you once they settle down. Don’t let them stop you.”

“They don’t, really,” replied Jim. “We helped Mum rebuild Krytenne. Do you have a Krytenne?”

“A male version and he’s not finished yet.”

Dave had been intending to finish re-building Kryten, but he hadn’t gotten around to it. He envied Deb the twins’ help for Rimmer and Cat were useless when it came to that. Rimmer couldn’t touch anything and Cat didn’t want to. Still, he could stand to try harder.

Deb and Arnold returned soon after.

“You were right,” Deb said to Dave.

“I knew it,” Dave muttered. “So what’s happening to her?”

“I was all for shutting her off, but Arnold here talked me out of it. Let’s just say we’re giving her a long time to think over her actions.”

“Glad to hear it. How much time before we have to go back?”

Hilly appeared on the screen.

“Half an hour,” said Hilly. “You’d better hurry.”

Krytenne raised a hand. “If I may suggest something, Ma’am?”

Deb rolled her eyes. “I’m not a ‘Ma’am’, Krytenne. Just Deb is fine. What do you suggest?”

“I suggest that you send Arnold and Dave back to their ship in one of our pods. We’re close enough that success is virtually guaranteed. That way, there’s no risk of anyone being trapped in the wrong dimension.”

“No,” said Rimmer, “We’ll just risk being stranded in a pod with only Cat to rescue us.”

“Don’t you have a Kryten?” asked Krytenne.

“He’s not finished yet,” replied Rimmer. “Lister here keeps smegging him up.”

“Not like you’re helping,” muttered Dave. “You got a better idea, smeghead?”

Of course, Rimmer had none so into the pod they went. Lister almost hesitated when he saw how small it was, but he climbed in all the same. He and Rimmer barely fit in it with just enough room for him to breathe. Deb looked sympathetic.

“Won’t be long. Ta”

Then she shut the lid and Krytenne ejected the pod into space. Dave could only pray that Krytenne’s calculations were correct. As soon as he got back, he swore that he would finish fixing up Kryten as soon as he could. Dave also attempted not to hyperventilate. He did not succeed in that.

“Scared, Listy?”

“A little,” he admitted.

“You should woman up and try some breathing exercises.”

“Did breathing exercises help you last night?”

As soon as Dave said that, he wished that he could take it back. However, Rimmer didn’t seem upset.

“Not during the act, but after when she’d fallen asleep.”

“Sorry, Rimmer. I shoudn’t have brought it up.”

“It’s okay. She’ll get her punishment, unlike the others.”

Dave didn’t want to pry, but he’d grab anything that would take his mind off his claustrophobia .

“Was that before you joined Red Dwarf?”

“Spot on, Listy. You’ve seen the divorce certificate in my diary, haven’t you?”

“I thought it was fake.”

“You and every other smegging person on the ship. No, it was all too real.”

When Dave said nothing, Rimmer kept talking.

“It’s still better than the alternative. Let’s just say Arlene’s not the worst I’ve ever had in my bed.”

“She’s still a total smeghead though,” growled Lister.

“Oh, just wait until you hear the punishment I devised for her. You’re going to laugh.”

***

Arlene pleaded and whinged, but Deb remained steadfast.

“Get into Quarantine now or I’ll shut you off for good.”

When Arlene continued to protest by saying that that slag Arnold must have lied to her, Deb turned from angry to furious, speaking in that deceptively calm voice.

“You know, the only reason I’m not shutting you off right now is because Arnold asked me for mercy. If I were you, I’d stop calling him a slag and a piece of totty and get into Quarantine right now before I shoot out your lightbee.”

Arlene went in without any more protests. At least this way, she would not have to put up with anyone else for the next year. Everyone else was always out to persecute her and bring her down. Even Arnold had turned out to be another lying slag.

She was sitting at the table in her Quarantine bunkroom stewing away when Arnold’s face appeared on the screen. She stood right up.

“You!”

“Hello, Arlene. By the time you see this, you’ll be back in your own dimension and long gone from mine. Deb was all for shutting you off, but I talked her around. Thank me the next time you see me, won’t you?”

“You smeghead!”

“It’s only a year, but don’t worry. All your favourite movies and music are accessible here. You and your companion will need them.”

“My companion?”

“Oh, I forgot to mention it? Take a look around your room.”

Arlene saw two bunk beds and two chairs at the table instead of the usual one. Still had only one bathroom and toilet though. She looked back at the screen where Arnold stood beaming away.

“You’ll be sharing your room with a very special companion. Can you guess who?”

Arlene had no idea.

“No? You may claim to know me, but you don’t seem to know yourself very well. Your companion should change that.”

The door to her cell opened and in stepped another copy of Arlene Rimmer, complete with the ‘H’ on her forehead and the sneer.

“Hello, Arlene.”

Arlene’s fist went into her mouth when the horror of it all sank in. A few weeks on Red Dwarf with herself had been bad enough. A year in Quarantine trapped with her?

“Enjoy!” said Arnold smugly.

She ran to hit the screen, but that smug face disappeared, leaving her alone with the second Arlene.

“Well, you’ve put us in a right pickle, haven’t you, Miss Gazpacho?”

Arlene’s scream could be heard throughout the entire ship.

***

Lister shook his head after Rimmer told him.

“Remind me to never get on your bad side.”

“Listy, you’ve always been on my bad side,” said Rimmer with a smile.

“Was that a joke? From you?”

“You’re on report, miladdo,” said Rimmer without any bite. “Where is that sequined moghead, anyway? We should have landed in the docking bay-“

Before Rimmer could finish his sentence, the lid to their pod came off and Cat peered down at them.

“There you are! I was smelling all over for you, Bud. Machine 23’s run out of fish!”

They were both grateful to escape the pod. Rimmer glared at the Cat, and snapped at him to help Lister out.

“The sooner you get him out, the sooner you get your fish, you stupid moggy.”

Cat offered a Lister a hand, which was all one could expect of him. Once Lister was out, Cat turned to Rimmer.

“By the way, what was all that screaming I heard last night?”

Lister answered before Rimmer could.

“Nothing important, Cat. Now, where is that vending machine?”

Cat dropped it and stalked off, expecting Lister to follow. Before Lister left, he turned back to Rimmer to see how he was holding up.

Rimmer gave him a real smile this time. “Thank you.”

“No problem, smeghead,” replied Lister. 

Cat stuck his head back in.

“Hey! Machine 23’s still out of fish!”

“Coming, Cat. “

Rimmer followed them. “You might need me. Who knows what kind of nozzle you’d stick in without my help.”

Lister let him. As they followed Cat, Rimmer asked if they could change bunkrooms afterwards. 

“Now that the Officer’s Quarters have been decontaminated, there’s no reason not to.”

“Whatever you say, Rimmer.”

They could always discuss the real reason another time. After all, they had all the time in the universe. 

_Fin_


End file.
